October 28, 2022

About giving

You read about giving and “give and you shall be given” quite a bit these days.
Mostly in the context of giving to receive.
The Bible is often quoted.
The Bible says there:

Give and it will be given to you

Lukas 6:38

Other sources also have similar remarks:

If you want everything to be given to you, then give everything.

Lao Tzu

I feel that such statements have often been misinterpreted in our society.
Especially in the success coaching scene.
In a society, it is often interpreted as “When I give, I get.” It attaches an expectation to giving.

Isn’t it true that giving can only make you truly happy if you give purely from the heart without any deeper intentions? When you give unconditionally? When you don’t expect anything in return.

As soon as you give on condition or with the expectation of getting something back, the intention to give born of lack poisons both the gift and you, the giver, yourself. And last but not least, the recipient.

From giving in the expectation or hope of someday receiving something in return, suffering is born, as from expectations suffering is generally born. Whether it is the feeling of disappointment and sadness in the giver, to reproach when his expectations are not met.
Sentences such as “I have done so much for you” are often heard.
Or is it the feeling of guilt on the part of the receiver, since he subliminally realizes that the giving is not unconditional.

It may be that we initially give unconditionally. But it is important to be mindful each time you give, whether you are giving out of the right motivation. Or whether expectations and hopes are attached to giving.

How can what we do not give free of conditions and expectations make us and the one we give it to happy?

In my conversation with my friend Alex Monas (Transformative Coach) who always inspires me deeply, we came up with the following question:
Isn’t it so that whoever gives without conditions and expectations, he and the receiver already receive a deep feeling of happiness, gratitude and connection at the moment of giving? (As long as we do not give to get this feeling explicitly – then again it is not unconditional – then we are not with the one we give to, but only selfishly motivated).

Whether and what may come back in addition when we give – who knows.
Does it matter? If so, is it still unconditional?
We can trust that comes what comes, and what does not that does not.
And that’s fine, no matter what, if something comes.

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